The Power of Story: Using Storytelling to Connect with Your Audience

Kristina Stubblefield: [00:00:00] Everyone, you're in for a real treat today. I am thrilled to call this person my friend. Nick Demos. A Tony and Olivier Award winning Broadway producer, celebrated filmmaker.

And a master of creativity and storytelling. Nick's journey from experiencing a profound moment of clarity at the peak of his career to becoming a guiding force for others in unlocking their creative potential is nothing short of inspirational. I hope you are ready because we are going to dive into the world of creativity and the power of storytelling. 

 Welcome to Simplified Solutions, your go to resource for small business owners and entrepreneurs seeking practical advice, innovative strategies, and simple solutions for business, marketing, and technology. I'm your host, [00:01:00] Kristina Stubblefield. If you're eager to take your business to greater heights, then you're in the right place.

We're here to help you unleash your business's untapped potential. Boost your visibility and maximize your investments. Let's dive into the world of simplified solutions. Stay tuned and let's simplify success together. 

Nick, thank you so much for taking time out to join me. 

Nick Demos: Kristina. I am so honored to be here. I know what it means to bring somebody onto your podcast as I have one as well. And you've been a guest on mine. I know what it means to bring somebody to your audience and it's, inviting a guest into your home. So thank you for having me in your home today. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Absolutely. I'm so appreciative that you've taken time to join me and I am going to jump right into this because I want you to share with my audience a little bit more about yourself, but I feel like now is a great time to talk [00:02:00] about storytelling before we started recording, I really said, authenticity, I think is going to be brought to the surface more so than ever because of, technology that is coming on by storm.

And I'm talking about AI, of course, and I'm fortunate to do speaking engagements and workshops on technology and AI. And one of the things I always share with the audience is about the importance remains of authenticity. So Nick, before we dive into storytelling, which I think is going to be a very powerful topic, will you share with my audience a little bit about yourself?

Nick Demos: Yeah, so I was a Broadway dancer. 30 years ago, I began my career. I was, well, I was 16 years old in my first professional job, but I started my career on Broadway as a dancer. I was dancing at the Radio City Christmas Spectacular with the Rockettes. And I had a moment there where I was in a bear costume.

So picture me in a bear costume, jumping off [00:03:00] a trampoline from the side of the stage, doing a Russian jump and landing on the stage eight times a week, five times a day. And at Radio City, there's on the floor, there's these numbers, it's like a grid system, there's numbers, and you have to find your number, find your number because there's so many people on that stage.

And it's huge. And there's these, you know, elevators going up and down. And it is a machine, ultimately. And you have to be that cog in the machine. And I was looking for my number, and by the way, it's Christmas Day. And I'm looking for my number, and my bear head falls over my eyes, and I can't find my number, and I'm sauteing across the stage, and I'm looking for my number, and tears begin to roll down my cheeks.

And I'm miserable. And this is supposed to be Christmas Day, holiday, sharing joy with an audience, and I'm deeply unhappy. And I go back to my dressing room, and I take the bare head off, and I remember looking at myself in the mirror and saying, This is not your [00:04:00] life. Because what I realized in that moment, that I wasn't being a storyteller, that I was being a cog in the machine.

And that my self expression, my authentic, speaking of authenticity, wasn't being fully expressed. And I made a decision that day that I was going to be a director choreographer. That I was going to take control and very old school. Talk about AI. This is long before AI. This is before AOL. You know, this is long time ago.

I got on the phone and I called every single person I'd ever worked with in the industry. And I said, I am directing and choreographing now, and they said, great. One of them said, Oh my gosh, Nick, we just lost our choreographer. This was a theater in Florida. They said, will you come down next month and choreograph this show?

And I was like, uh, Florida in February? Hail to the yes. I am there. Check. Yeah, and that really began then my directing and choreographing and [00:05:00] creating phase of my business of being that storyteller. And that really then led me to producing, which led to a Broadway show, and that turning point moment that you were talking about in the intro, which is, I was at the Tony Awards.

I am nominated for a Tony. This is supposed to be the biggest moment of the entire life, right? Back at Radio City. Are you ready for this? All leads, all roads lead back to Radio City Music Hall. I'm, I walked down the aisle and I'm in the fourth row aisle. Seat for the Tony fourth row and I had to wait the Tony's by the way, go on forever like they are very, very long and I'm sitting in my seat and I'm waiting and we're the last award of the evening and I'm sitting there and I'm waiting and it's like five hours in right and Bernadette Peters walks across the stage and she's going to give the she's been, you know, announcing the winner.

Yeah. She has the envelope in her hand, and she very slowly opens it, and she takes a deep breath, and she says, [00:06:00] Memphis. And that's the show that I produced. And everyone around me stood up, and they're rising, and they're excited, and they're hugging and kissing, and I had this moment where the first thought I had was, oh my gosh, thank goodness my investors are going to get their money back.

Because I knew this show was going to be a hit. And then the second moment I had was, this is it. This isn't what this is supposed to feel like. I wasn't feeling anything. I was numb. And sometimes they say it's like an outer body experience, and I was walking onto the stage up from the audience to get this award, and it was like I was out of body.

I couldn't feel anything. And I went, I'm up there on stage receiving this award, thinking, this is it. This is it. This isn't how I want to feel. I had a very, you know, a deep moment of reflection of, whoa, what the hell am I going to do with the rest of my life? Because I had been working so hard for that moment.

So it's that idea of, getting something that you think that you always want. And then when you get it, you're like, this isn't what I thought it was going to be. And [00:07:00] then that turned me into coaching. That's when I began to coach others. 

Kristina Stubblefield: And just listening to these experiences, and I know you've had others, but just listening to this, the expertise, the experience, this whole circle.

Of all of this stuff that you bring to now being a story consultant. 

Nick Demos: Yeah. So now I consult on Broadway shows on films and then with businesses to help them tell their business stories. 

Kristina Stubblefield: And I am so excited to dive into this. So excited. I know what you're going to share. Everyone better get ready.

They better get their pieces of paper and their pens out or their remarkable digital tablets, because I'm sure Nick is going to be dropping some very valuable information. 

Nick Demos: Yeah, so I very meta set up what I just did. If you'll notice, I shared a story so that you could make a [00:08:00] choice. You could either lean in and say, Oh, gosh, this is interesting.

This is somebody that I'm interested in hearing what they're about, or although it's since you're still here, you did that, or you turned away and said, Oh, no, he's not for me, which is the first thing to really understand in storytelling is really important that particularly storytelling for marketing your business is that you want them to either lean in or lean out. And I know that some people are like, but I want to be liked. I want everyone to like me. I want everyone to be, yeah. But the reality is, is that, that's not helpful. And I know as, especially those that are personal brands, it feels very, very personal, right?

Or you may be sitting there thinking, I'm not gonna tell these stories like you're telling, I don't have a story of being on the Radio City Music Hall or at the Tony Awards. I don't have that story. You don't need that story. You truly don't need that kind of a story. You need a relatable story, [00:09:00] which is why even though it was a remarkable story that I told, I made it relatable by talking about the moment of taking off the bear head and looking in the mirror and saying this isn't my life because we've all experienced that. I made it relatable by saying have you ever felt like you were in a situation where you didn't get what you've thought you were going to get after all this time and energy and effort.

Those are relatable themes. So that's the first thing that I want to say is make sure that your theme is relatable, and in marketing now it's a little different than what we just did here, but in marketing, the story isn't about you. The number one mistake I see people make in marketing is that they make it all about them.

When the reality is, yeah, and there's a reason for that, Kristina. Like we're in this me, me, me, me, me, me culture, right? Like, look at me, look how great I am. I get that. But in marketing, you [00:10:00] are not the hero or shero of your story. You're the guide. You are the guide. And that, when you get that, something shifts, because then, not only is the audience going to lean in the way that you did with me about my story, but then I immediately turned myself into the guide.

You already had set that up for me, Kristina, by saying, oh, wait, this guy, and, he's got this expertise, you'd already set that up for me, so that was a little bit easier, I had a little easier lift there, right? That's called social proof, you gave me that proof, thank you for that. But when you. make it there about them in some way, shape, or form, they lean in even harder, deeper, and they realize that you're the one that can help them in whatever it is that you offer, whatever it is that you're offering the world.

They're like, Ooh, that person knows what they're doing and what they're talking about. 

Kristina Stubblefield: And for the record, we did not talk about this before I hit record the things that you are hitting on. I think this is what becomes a [00:11:00] barrier for small business owners, entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants. Let's just say everyone to hit the record button because I don't know about talking about myself, why do people know about me and where there's a time and a place for a sentence or so it's the transformation. If you sell products, what does your product do? How does it affect people? If you offer services, what does that help them with?

Does it help them get from point A to point B? And it's a lot of people don't know how to craft. Let's get a keyword in there, how to craft this story, this video, this blog post, they get so in their own head about how to do it. And what you're saying is you're telling a story. You're sharing a story with people.

Nick Demos: Yeah. And storytelling is as old as time. The [00:12:00] reason that we connect so deeply to story is that we have been doing it since we were cave people sitting around the cave. Let's talk about before AI, the cave times, we were literally sitting around fire. And who were the leaders at that time? storytellers. Those that could stand in front of their tribe and lead discussion. And honestly, what historians believe is that the first stories were actually of going out to get the prey, get the dinner, and whether or not they got it. And that was what the stories were about. And again, look at that.

That's a transformation story. That's, did they get the prey? Did they bring it back for you to eat or did they not? Were they able to help you with your need, the need of food, the desire of food? Were they able to do that? And then they came back and they conveyed the information of, here it is, eat [00:13:00] it. Or no, I was not able to, and here is why. And here's the story I'm going to tell. And a good story has those points that we're talking about of transformation. It always has a tiny bit of exaggeration. Now I know that's not lying. Let me be very, very, very, very clear. Your story needs to be emotionally true because your audience can suss it out when it's not emotional.

And with AI, as much as we're going to be moving into that, people are going to really be able to suss out whether or not you are having emotional truth, whether you're giving emotional truth or whether you're giving them something that is just kind of a lie or something that's very cold. And that is why getting in front of an audience, whether it's on the podcast like this, whether it's getting on live stages, whether it is getting on that video that you're scared to turn on, is going to be more important than ever.

Now, [00:14:00] the way to do that is through practice. Here's the thing. When I did that show at the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular, we rehearsed it for a month before I got on stage. Right? We didn't, you don't just all of a sudden get up onto a stage and perform, and it's perfect. It's a practice. And I can tell you from my own experience, I don't know, Kristina, about you, but when I first started, I felt a need to perform, to be on, to be purrfect.

And over time, the more that I've practiced, the more that I've really allowed myself to make mistakes, to be wrong, to maybe not tell the greatest story, the better I've actually gotten. It's this weird dichotomy. That, that which we most are resistant to is the thing that will actually help us the most. It's just doing it. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Absolutely. Just doing it. And you bring up a point I'll share with people is, I'm very fortunate to speak and teach and my zone of genius [00:15:00] with technology systems and processes, digital marketing. But I used to be, Oh, I know what I'm talking about. I don't need to practice. No, I just, get up there and wing it.

And absolutely I can get up there and wing it and talk about it. Cause it's my zone of genius. However, when you practice and you know certain parts where you can pause and maybe tell an additional story that's not on the PowerPoint slide, or you can be like me and not like to stand on the stage and go out into the audience.

You can hone that keynote, that presentation. You can give yourself room. To read the room and breathe a different life into it. And I think what you just said there about practicing, it doesn't have to be a stage. Even if you're not comfortable doing a reel, a tech talk, a YouTube video, even if it's a one or two minute video, [00:16:00] if you just run through it once or twice, you're giving yourself room to get more comfortable with it. I think that's a really 

good point. You just made. 

Nick Demos: Do it for yourself first. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Yes. 

Nick Demos: And do it again for yourself first and do it as many times for yourself as you need before you're ready to do it. And the interesting thing that I have found with reels in particular is that I will do the, do it for myself one.

And then I, what I learned to do was record even the, for myself one. Because what I will do, what I have done in the past, is then do it again, my practice round, and then I would go to record, and then I would begin to choke. Because I was like, then all of a sudden in my head thinking, Oh my God, it has to be perfect.

It's got to be great. Just hit record, do it, practice, and then take the take that you really like, or that, that is most resonant or works because then you get out of your head and into your body, which is so important. You also mentioned in keynotes, and I [00:17:00] think this is really important for people.

for people to really think about that. You don't memorize. You don't need to memorize. I think that's one of the things that's a difference between the stage. Like on stage, we have to memorize our lines because what we're playing characters. We're not playing ourselves. Right. But when you're going to do a keynote, you don't need to memorize.

In fact, sometimes it can be detrimental to you to memorize and same on, on like a real, it can feel like you're reading. And people can suss that out that, oh, like, it's like kind of like for wrote what for a keynote in particular, what I recommend is memorizing your opening and memorizing your closing and everything else in between is bullet pointed so that you know it because you know your topic.

Like you said, you know what you're going to talk about, Kristina. And so do you all out there. You all are experts in what it is that you offer the world, right? So you know how to talk and how to share a story you already know 'cause you're doing it. We've been doing it since the beginning of time.

You've been doing it. You have these conversations every [00:18:00] day. You are telling stories around, what you eat, where's the be best place to go, the water cooler. What's hot on TikTok? What have you seen? The more you begin to listen, the more you realize, oh we are. Our life is in stories.

And so you're telling them already. And so when you learn to practice and do them, you begin to tell them more effectively, but you're already doing it. That's the crazy thing. And so over memorizing can actually be a problem. It can actually stilt you and not be as effective. So even when you're going to do that reel, that first line and that last line have memorized. Anything in between, just talk, just talk And it'll work. 

Kristina Stubblefield: And that hits so true for me because you're grabbing attention like you mentioned in the very first part of this, you want to pull people in and just like you want to attract your ideal clients, your target audience, you [00:19:00] want to attract them.

And I share with people, wouldn't you rather be a magnet to pulling people towards you instead of going out and trying to just find them. To me, you said it, you don't worry about those that don't lean in, don't get caught up in that you want to find your people, the ones that are attracted to your story, to what it is you have to offer.

And there's a powerful message in that alone. And that's a hard thing a lot of times for personal brands, like you said, to be okay with that, that not everyone is for you. 

Nick Demos: And that's a process that we go through. I think there is a natural tendency to want to be liked. That's going back to that idea of the tribe sitting around the fire.

You want to be a part of the tribe. You want to be liked. It's part of that natural belonging, sense of belonging that we desire. And so when you put [00:20:00] yourself out there like that, what happens is that you're no longer in the safe space. You're no longer, that fight or flight comes into play, that the oldest part of your brain goes into attack mode and says, I'm no longer safe.

This isn't safe for me. It's not safe for me to go on video and share part of myself. This is not safe. And so you're, the entire system goes and begins to shut down because we want to be liked. But again, it's that practice thing. The first thing I always say to everyone is take a deep breath before you go on any stage, any size.

Take a deep breath because what are you doing? You're taking your fight or flight. You're taking yourself out of fight or flight into rest or digest from the sympathetic into the parasympathetic nervous system. You're telling your body and your entire energetic system that you're okay, that you're gonna be okay by sharing part of yourself with the world.

And, yes, you're going to draw in more of the [00:21:00] people that are like you and that want to be with you and a part of what you are giving to the world and that uniqueness that is you. And you're also going to detract some. But over time, you learn, and this is that practice, that's why we call it a practice, right?

Over time, you learn, oh, I'm safe. I'm safe. Will you get some haters? Abso friggin lutely. In fact, when you begin to get the haters, that's telling you that you're doing something right. What that's telling you is that you're taking a stand. What that's telling you is that you're resonating for people. And one of the things that I really look at, as a personal brand especially, is that when that stuff comes my way, and I've gotten hate, let me tell you, I've had two personal documentaries out there on very on topics that are, you know, controversial, that I'm in, that are about me and my family, [00:22:00] and I've gotten some nasty comments, nastiness, but what I've learned is in general, if I look at it and go, oh, Look, that's, look, somebody's not liking what I'm offering.

Okay, that's okay. You know, then it's fine. If I have an emotional response, it's my gift. It's a gift to me. Because what this says to me is that's where my work as a human being lies. That's where my stuff, if my stuff, if I'm being triggered, if it's coming to the surface, that's a gift, it's a golden nugget for me to go, ah, this is bothering me, this is triggering me, let me look at this.

And what usually happens is that when I begin to look at it, then that dissipates. And the next round, or the next time it comes up, I look at it and I go, oh yeah, that was a gift, I'm okay, and I laugh at it. Because I'm able to pull back that lens. We get really drawn in to the, oh my gosh, they're hating me, they're hating me, versus pulling back the lens [00:23:00] and looking at the bigger picture.

And it really, truly is a gift. I've learned over time. Now that took me a while to get there. Like I said, this is stages and steps, right? And the bigger you are, you become in a space as a thought leader, Kristina, you're a thought leader. As you well know, the bigger you become in the space, the more eyeballs on you, the more attack you get, but also the bigger impact you're making on this world. And so therefore the more people you're really affecting and in a positive way and the more lives you're changing and the more you're helping people. 

Kristina Stubblefield: I've experienced this and more so now. When you put a consistent content out, you're exactly right. The more eyeballs the more people is that. jealous, haters, whatever you want to label, and we can get caught up in that. And you're exactly [00:24:00] right. It is a process that you can go through emotional stages. The thing that I, and I've helped other clients that I've worked with over the years, they're just they're so caught up in a negative comment on social media or, something.

And. You get to choose what you do with your time and it's your decision. If you allow time and space in that negativity, but I do think it's really important that you've looked at it, processed it in whatever way that is. And then you've gotten to a place that. That's a gift. I'm making impact. And I think that's something that I find I constantly remind myself of.

And this has happened to me recently for no explanation or whatsoever. That it has come up out of the blue. And there is no explanation. And all I can do is [00:25:00] focus my energy on what it is I'm doing. And like you said, there must be some kind of impact that they wish they were making or that they wish they were doing this, or they wish they would have thought of this, and honestly, what I've come to realize, it doesn't matter why.

Nick Demos: It doesn't. And I want to be very clear about something too. When I said that I do this work, the inner work, so that it doesn't bother me anymore. That doesn't mean that I take abuse, right? That there's boundaries to this as well. There's this great thing called delete ban and in general, I don't do that.

But if it gets really nasty and really personal and they won't let up, delete ban. Goodbye. There's also a phrase that I love to use that I'm going to offer to you all today because no matter what they say after this phrase, they're screwing themselves. And that phrase is. Thank you for the algorithm help because.

If they dare [00:26:00] then to respond again, they realize that they're actually helping you. Because they're bringing you back to the top of the algorithm. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Or if they keep sharing it, thanks. 

Nick Demos: Correct. Thanks. Thanks for sharing. Thanks for doing this. Thanks for continuing to comment. And it shuts them down like you would not believe because they know that, that they are actually helping you then.

It's really powerful. It was a powerful shift for me when I began doing that because I took the power back from the hater in that sense. 

Kristina Stubblefield: And you didn't give it away. Like, that's the thing is, growing up, you, people probably heard turn the other cheek or be the bigger person or this, that, and the other, and that can still sound well and good, but there comes a point in time where you're just, you know, No, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm so glad you brought this up because naturally, as you start to put yourself out more, and this could be in video, this could be in blog posts, this could be in social media posts with [00:27:00] graphics.

Not all of it. Are we talking about it being a video? You are. Opening yourself up to feedback, comments, whether they're welcomed or not. And I think what you shared was so important because it's going to happen. And you just said it keep the power. Don't give it away to someone else. But I do believe, like you said, the process of working through it is so important because we can be fake and we can be like, ah, it doesn't bother me.

There's a real part to that where you need to deal with that internally. It doesn't have to be this facade. 

Nick Demos: What we're really talking about is vulnerability. And vulnerable is, you know, in its definition is open to attack. And so yes, it can feel like you are being attacked, but ultimately vulnerability and being the more vulnerable you are, [00:28:00] the more you're actually going to draw people to you.

But. It does leave you open to attack. So learning to navigate that space, and it's different for everyone, and finding that sweet spot for you, that's your own knowledge and awareness and where you're at. And I will say that it starts small. You don't need to start by telling your deepest, darkest secrets.

Right? The fact that you were abused or you were a drug addict or if you have that type of story, you don't need to share that story, especially not right away. In fact, if you do, you may turn somebody off, right? Because that's a lot. That's what we call oversharing. I often get asked like, what is too much?

What is too much to share? And you have to ask yourself, are you on the other side of that transformation? And why are you sharing it? In producing Broadway, We always, as a producer, the first two questions you always ask yourself, why this [00:29:00] story? Why now? And it's the same with every story that you go to tell on social media, on a stage, in a keynote.

Why this story? Why now? And that really shifts your perspective in terms of, is this a story that I need to tell right now, or am I just telling it to get my stuff out to regurgitate? Because we've all seen it. We've all seen those people on social and we're like, Oh, I don't want to be one of those people who's oversharing.

We've all seen them overshare, right? Because they haven't asked those questions of why and why now, why right now to share that story. Does it relate to your business? Does it relate to what you're offering in the world? 

Kristina Stubblefield: I'm so glad you shared that because I think that's important is finding that balance that works for you, your audience, your mission.

So those two things so important right there that you shared. So I want to ask you, Nick, [00:30:00] what would be something that you would share with a person? And I know you shared about practicing and I think that's great. What is something you would share for someone who's never used storytelling in their business?

Whether they're a coach, consultant, small business owner, What would you share with someone? 

Nick Demos: Well, the first thing that I would say to them is that you're already telling stories. You're already doing it. You may not think that you're doing it, but you're already doing it. On a daily basis. you are sharing stories.

So begin by bringing awareness to the stories that you're already telling. That's first and foremost. That sounds like very much like meditation or mindfulness practice around storytelling, but that's the truth of the matter. So first begin to notice the stories that you're already telling, and then notice the stories that others are telling around you.

That could be like I said, at the water cooler, or at the dinner table, [00:31:00] with your family, from things that happen during the day, and then begin to collect those stories. I have what I call a story bank. And I just take a story, if I hear an interesting story, and it might be from you, Kristina, now granted, if I do use somebody else's story, I ask them permission.

You know, I would always ask somebody's permission to use there because don't steal a story, right? Don't steal somebody's story. But I might take a part of your story and a part of somebody else's story and create a story, right? That's a way to do it. But taking these stories that you hear or the stories that you actually hear you a story bank.

So you've got this bank of stories. And then let's say you're going and you working with AI, And it's writing for you. You've written something and you throw it into AI and you say, Hey, could you help make this better? Whatever it is that the words that you use with AI, and you're better at this than I am in terms of telling how to tell AI, how to make a a really good let's say a blog post.

And then you pull it out and then you look at it and you go, I need a [00:32:00] story to go with this. You know why? Because the storytellers are the leaders of the world and people learn better, faster. through story than any other way. So, in fact, they'll learn 22 times more likely to remember a story, remember a fact if a story is connected to it.

So, anything that you're trying to get out there, if you connect a story to it, they're 22 times more likely to remember it. So you go in and you go to your story bank and you go, Oh, that story. Oh, that might work with this. Let me try this story that I've already been telling that I just wrote down a couple sentences.

Let me try that in here with AI, because what that does is it personalizes it. It brings your personality into the, onto the page or the stage. It brings your point of view onto the page or the stage. And to be honest, more and more, [00:33:00] information is a commodity. You can find information absolutely anywhere, Kristina.

We all know this. This is why we have our phone 24 7. We can look something up. That's not what people are really wanting from you anymore. Right. People really want to know you. They want your story. They want a part of who you are. They want to be with somebody who's going to be real with them.

And the more we get into this AI, the more that's going to be true. And so therefore, these little stories that you've found over time and put into your story bank that you pull out and you put into your marketing pieces. The more people are going to connect with you and we are more likely to buy from somebody or do business with, exchange services with somebody that we like, that we know, that we trust.

We hear there's no like and trust factor. It's going to be more important. It's going to be love. It's not going to be like anymore. It's going to be, you've got to [00:34:00] love them. You've got to really dig what they stand for. They've got to match your values. So your core values need to be in every single piece of content that you put out there.

And the way to do that is by having that story bank. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Okay. What you just dropped right there. So many pieces to take from that. And. And there's never been a better time to hear this because what you just said, well, you're just at the tip of the iceberg with AI and people want to connect with people. And if you're 22 percent likely, I think you said 22 percent more likely, 

Nick Demos: more likely. Yeah. 

Kristina Stubblefield: 22 times more likely. To build a connection with a person let's see this thing or this, that's the thing is you want to resonate with people you, you want to really allow people in and what you're saying about the story. That's capturing attention. [00:35:00] That's not just capturing attention.

That's pulling them in. So if you have a funnel, they're not just at the tip of the funnel. They're starting to come down the funnel already because they are, they've leaned into the story. They feel a connection. You're already building the know, like, and trust factor. And then like you've said, you're advancing to instead of liking, loving.

And that authenticity piece, you cannot get that any better than letting a person connect with you through story. And I will say story in a video. 

Nick Demos: Yeah, the video is going to become more and more important too because of that. There's a reason we're already moving in that direction. But because of that needing, we're needing connection.

It goes back to sitting around the fire. What was that? That was the tribe connecting, and where we are natural connectors. And so we want that [00:36:00] connection, that human touch, and that human touch is going to become more and more important. And so that is going to be through video. And so really taking that time to begin To be vulnerable, allow yourself open to the attack.

not only outside, but internal, those internal attacks we were talking about, all those things that come up in your head, right? I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not talented enough. I don't know what I would say that would be any different than anybody else, whatever that is for you, whatever those things come up for you.

By beginning to embrace them and then say, okay, I'm going to take a deep breath. I'm going to go try this on camera. The more. That you're going to connect with people and they don't want perfection. Here's the irony. The greatest irony of it all is that nobody actually likes perfection. 

Kristina Stubblefield: I was going to bring this up.

Nick Demos: So the more that you go out there and do it, the more likely they are to be drawn to you. 

Kristina Stubblefield: [00:37:00] And here's the thing, especially with your background, when people were first really using the video in business for marketing, it was lights, camera microphones, and the perfect backdrop and the perfect setting. Everything quiet on the set. It was this production. 

Nick Demos: You have to understand that I had a full studio. I had the perfect lights. I had the perfect sound. I had the, and over time it's got less and less and less. I have a ring light and a microphone now. That's it. That's all I got. I went from like the perfect setup and I thought I had to wear the perfect clothing and I used to get in my suit and I used to and the more real I've become with it, the better. And you know what people actually love me for is my dancing videos, which is absurd. You know, during the pandemic. 

Kristina Stubblefield: You do an excellent job on those. 

Nick Demos: I started dancing and here's the thing. I love it. That's why it's actually me. I was a dancer in my youth, like at [00:38:00] Radio City Music Hall. So of course I love to dance.

So of course that's actually authentic to who I am. If dancing's not for you, if you're not authentic dancing, don't do it because it's a trend or was a trend now that it's over. People are now like, oh, I hate everybody's dancing videos except yours. I really like yours. Well, that's because I'm a dancer. That's because that's what I love. 

Kristina Stubblefield: It's in your zone of genius. 

Nick Demos: Is find a part of it. It's in my, yes, it's in my vein of gold. Find the vein of gold. That's your vein of gold and do that trying to copy what everyone's doing and keep up with the trends and they come and go, but the fundamentals of storytelling, that is forever.

Kristina Stubblefield: It is. And I'm so glad we talked about this because. That is something people, I don't have makeup on today up. I didn't do my hair up. I remember when you were doing branding shots and all these videos and it was this scheduled out thing and it was this big ordeal and [00:39:00] that's the point is just show up and be yourself.

If someone's going to walk in the door and have a conversation with you, who's going to be there? It, you, you. Not an alternate version of you, you, and that's the thing. 

Nick Demos: I had a client come to me and she's like, people aren't resonating with my videos and I don't know why.

And I can't figure it out. And she's like, I think I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to do. And I was like, yeah, you're doing all the things you're supposed to do. And you're overly made up. She was putting on the perfect makeup and the perfect hair and the perfect, but it wasn't actually her. That's not what she looks like when she walks down the street.

And I said, so you're showing up to be on camera in a way that isn't actually who you are. People can sense that. That's why those videos aren't working. The content was great. The content was fine. But if you're not showing up as you, people can see through it now. That's really a big takeaway is to be fully [00:40:00] you.

And that, that is a practice. It's okay to, that it's a practice too. I want everyone to really understand that nobody comes out of the gate being like, I know exactly how to do this. No one. 

Kristina Stubblefield: And the best part about it is for anyone, small business, solo preneur entrepreneur, anyone. It can be with this device.

Like that's the thing is it has shifted in a way that levels the playing field, just like small businesses compared to large businesses that have big marketing budgets and all of this stuff you can hit record and you can tell a story, you can resonate with your tribe, your people. And That's what starts the conversation.

That's what starts them in your funnel. If you want to turn it into business terms, that's what starts it in your community, your world, any kind of term you want to stick with it and [00:41:00] that we know people are turning online, social media, Google, your website, we know that. And if we know that storytelling produces a higher percentage of results, which we do, and we know that video does the same thing, merging the two together and being authentic, you'll be able to tell a difference in you showing up for your business, for yourself versus an AI generated video with a script, with a voiceover.

You will be able to tell. And I say I love technology. There's a time and a place for ai. I speak a lot about it, but there is a time and a place where you need to connect from yourself to another person, another human being, and there's no better way to do it. 

Nick Demos: Heart to heart is what we're talking about, really heart to heart.

Kristina Stubblefield: And you've said being vulnerable. Opening yourself up to [00:42:00] sharing and connecting with people, and it may start out slow. 

Nick Demos: Because that's what we want. That's what we need is connection. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Yes. And it may start out slow. It's not like a thousand people are going to come rushing through. And I think sometimes that can be the frustrating thing, but you want to attract the right people.

And I'd rather have 20 of the right people watching my stuff than 1, 200 of I don't know who, it's not my people and people get hung up with those numbers. 

Nick Demos: I have two thoughts on that. One is we have an old saying in the theater that you show up for one person in the audience the same way that you show up for 2000 people in the audience.

Kristina Stubblefield: Preach, please take the pulpit and just keep preaching. 

Nick Demos: And the second is that, well, now I kind of, now I get lost. I think I lost my second. Dang it. I had the first, I lost the second. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Well, I'll give you a minute. What were we talking about? Okay. So you said the numbers, we're talking about the numbers, people get in their [00:43:00] head about these numbers and what you just shared is perfect.

Like show up for one person, show up for one person in the audience. And if there ends up being 2000, great. 

Nick Demos: Yeah. And what you're doing really, this is the second part is that you're really inviting people to your party. And when you invite people in, these invitation stories, that's why it's top of funnel.

It's the invite. And then as you nurture them down into your funnel, that's when you're affirming for them that you're their human, that you're the person that can help them in some way, shape, or form. You're their business that they need. And then that transformation, you're sharing with them how they can transform that whatever it is through the use of your product, through the use of your offer.

And those stories in their totality, there's only three stories that you need to be telling in various different forms. That's it. Those are the three. And when you do it for one, you begin to then to do it for three. That's it. And after [00:44:00] three, you begin to do it for 10. And after 10, it gets to 100. And that's sort of the natural progression.

Also, your system, your body, your energetic may only be ready for three people to listen. And that's something for you, as we were talking about, the more you get, the more, the more positive you get, also the more negative, the yin yang thing. And you, it's a great preparation if you're only using that word as a coach.

I'm like, what's the only, only three people are only three people are watching. I only got three people watching. It's not worth it. But what if those three people are the three people that you're meant to help through your product, through what you offer. You don't need a ton of people. That's the other crazy thing about that iPhone is that you don't need that many people to have an incredibly successful business to make impact in the world.

If you impact one person, isn't it worth it? Isn't it worth it to to impact one person for you putting yourself out there? Even if you do get [00:45:00] somebody who is negative towards you, isn't the one person that you can help worth receiving that negativity and then letting that go so you can actually help them? And that it'll grow. It just naturally does. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Nick, I think we could talk about this, on and on. If we were on YouTube or Facebook live, check back in three hours, we're still going to be here. We're going to grab some dinner and we're going to keep talking while we're here. But this is such an important topic though, because what you just explained by the time.

You come out with a program or it's time for your next webinar or workshop or your next product launch, they're ready to buy. There's not really even a sales process, so to speak. I hate to say that there's not a sales process, but they are already. You've built the no like trust factor. They're already in love with you.

You already resonate. They are your people and they are ready to support you and be [00:46:00] part of what you have going on. 

Nick Demos: And they are more likely to purchase again and again and again. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Yes. And to be honest, they may even direct message you or reach out to you before you even put something out.

Maybe you don't even offer one to one. Maybe you only have a program or maybe you only have products at a certain time. They may be reaching out because of that relationship that you've nurtured through stories it's this topic. 

Nick Demos: I don't think to tell you what they want. 

Kristina Stubblefield: You know, that's the thing is that they become your people that can help with your direction with what they're needing.

And then you get into the tool of listening, which is probably a whole nother topic, but. It really is about building a community, whether that's an email list, a [00:47:00] social media list, An in person group, whatever that is for you. It's about building a community of your people, your target audience. As I like to say, your ideal clients.

And as I said, I think now's the perfect time to be sharing this message out in conjunction with when I talk about technology or I talk about AI, because I do always mention something about, it's not a replacement. It is a tool to have in your toolbox. And in my opinion, I feel like it's so important to stay grounded in your authenticity, in your messaging, to show up on video and be yourself.

And it's. In my opinion, and everyone can have their own opinions, I feel like you're going to see and be able to identify what is what, and the true, authentic, real people, [00:48:00] as they say, the cream rises to the top, they're going to excel. 

Nick Demos: Yeah, there were, there's a reason that the Webster's word of the year last year was authentic.

Yeah. And that is because we're moving to a time where people aren't sure. And consequently, the more real you are, the more authentic you are, the more people are going to be drawn to you. For sure. That customer community, that aligned customer community of folk. That you are drawing in for your business, but also just as humans.

Let's be honest. A lot of what we do is human connection. That's really what it all boils down to is connecting with humans. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Well, Nick, I so appreciate your time. This went way longer than I even ask of you. So I appreciate you having this conversation, you sharing all of your All of this information. I feel like this is an episode that people will go back on.

And I always [00:49:00] like when an episode like this will live on, like you said, storytelling is old as time, this episode, the information, the golden nuggets that you dropped throughout is something that can be utilized. after year after year. And that when you talk about an impact that is so impactful for people.

And for me, that's what I love most about what I do is the impact and to know that something's out there that can help people, for years to come. So thank you so much for your time. I'm not going to let you run just yet. Okay. I do have a question that is, you do not know anything about, and I know you love doing this yourself.

So it's just one question that has nothing to do with this topic, but stay tuned everybody because I'm going to let you know, I'm going to let Nick share how you can connect with him. Okay. Nick, are you ready? 

Nick Demos: [00:50:00] I'm ready. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Are you sure? Cause this is 

Nick Demos: No! I'm scared now. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Okay, I'm gonna put 30 seconds on the clock. I would like to know your favorite line from your favorite show. 

Nick Demos: From like a TV show or a, or do you care? 

Kristina Stubblefield: I left it open ended for you, aren't I nice? 

Nick Demos: Oh, you left it, you left it very open ended. Okay, You have 30 seconds. From 9 Okay, I can say a few from nine to five at a girl violet. That's one of my favorite From a chorus line when can the adults smoke?

Can the adults please smoke? Ridiculous line from a chorus line more seconds Oh, gosh, there's gotta be a third. Come on. It's all in threes, right? There's gotta be a third. It's going to be a bumpy night. Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night. I there'll be like, I became a grand Dom during that.

All three of those are like these like grand [00:51:00] Dom women. Like, I don't know that for some reason that that was the ones that came to my mind. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Oh goodness. That was great. That was great. Okay. So. Please share, how would you like anyone listening to connect with you or get more information? 

Nick Demos: Yeah, so online I'm on Instagram.

That's primarily my platform. I'm also on LinkedIn and a few others, but I like Instagram is where you can probably most come and watch me dance sometimes at the Nick Demos. And then my website is TheNickDemos. com. And I have a podcast, which you can come check out as well. 

Kristina Stubblefield: One of the things I'll throw in there, definitely go to Nick's website and check out his about video.

Because if you want to see storytelling wrapped in and packaged in a great way for your website on your about page, Nick hats off to you because it's excellent. 

Nick Demos: Well thank you. It's funny that you say that because I'm about to redo it. See, you're always [00:52:00] growing, you're always growing and shifting. Like you said, like that was from five years ago, that video and it's still resonant and it still works, but I have this thing of, Oh, it's time to redo.

It's time to like tweak. It's time to make it a little bit better because that's where I was five years ago and now I'm going to make it even more juicy. 

Kristina Stubblefield: Oh, there will be dancing. I can just picture it now. I'll be dancing and all kinds of stuff. Thank so much for your time. I really appreciate it.

Everyone connect up with Nick and. I've been podcasting for a long time and there are some topics that stand out more than others. And for me, this topic, when I knew that I wanted to have this be an episode, you're the first person that I thought of, and I'm so appreciative to the mastermind that we're in.

That connects us, but that also keeps us connected virtually and in person a [00:53:00] couple of times of year. I'm very thankful for that. And I'm just so fortunate to call you a friend. So thank you again for joining me and for everyone that has tuned in. Thank you for joining us and please. I would love to see how you're embracing storytelling, whether it's something you're already doing. A takeaway from this episode, you can shoot me a message, Nick as well. Hit that share button. If you're an Instagram and send it over in messenger or just reach out through email, I will be glad to pass it on to Nick. And if you're already doing it, great. Keep going. And if you're not embracing storytelling, there is so much information here that can help you get started and just hit the record button and share with the world what you have to say. So thanks everyone for tuning in until next time, everyone. Take care. 

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