Mastering Mindset and Overcoming Procrastination with Dr. Christine Li

[00:00:00] Today we're diving deep into the world of procrastination and the extraordinary influence of mindset. It's a topic that hits home for many of us, and we've got just the expert to lead us on this transformative journey. Joining us is none other than my dear friend and the procrastination coach herself, Dr. Christine Li.

[00:00:22] Now, before we dive into today's conversation, I want to share with you a little secret. When I first met Christine I was intrigued, but I was almost somewhat amused that she's a procrastination coach. I mean, who knew that was even a thing, right? And if I'm being honest, I too have had to deal with procrastination.

[00:00:45] But, as I got to know her better, I realized that procrastination is something we all face in various aspects of our lives. And Christine has some incredible insights and strategies that can help us overcome it. In this episode, we're going to explore the psychological roots of procrastination, discover how to shift our mindsets for success, and learn practical tips to conquer self doubt.

[00:01:12] 

[00:01:14] welcome to Simplified Solutions, your go to resource for small business owners and entrepreneurs seeking practical advice, innovative strategies, and simple solutions for business. Marketing and technology. I'm your host, Kristina Stubblefield. If you're eager to take your business to greater heights, then you're in the right place.

[00:01:35] We're here to help you unleash your business's untapped potential, boost your visibility, and maximize your investments. Let's dive into the world of simplified solutions. Stay tuned and let's simplify success together.

[00:01:50] Whether you're a seasoned entrepreneur or someone just getting started on your journey of personal growth. There's something here for everyone. So without further ado, let's jump into this enlightening conversation. Welcome to the show, Christine.

[00:02:06] Oh, you're the best, and I feel so blessed to have you in my life as family. Thank you so much. 

[00:02:11] So before we get started, will you tell my audience just a little bit about you? 

[00:02:17] Sure. I am Dr. Christine Li I live in New York. I've known Kristina for a few years now.

[00:02:24] Time rolls really quickly. And again, I've been so lucky to know her, to work with her. We're headed to a conference soon together. We just Chat about all sorts of things, life and business, and she's so much fun as you all know already. I am a psychologist and I call myself Procrastination coach online, but I focus on issues that are related to procrastination as well, such as habits, habit building, habit consistency, mindset, mindfulness, ways of relaxation, ways of building a life of success. And I really just enjoy doing all of this work because I feel the more I teach, the more somehow these lessons are deeper inside of me. And I feel like I grow every time I put myself out there and I put my message out there. So I just love this. And thank you for inviting me on the show today so that I can teach some more.

[00:03:32] Absolutely. And for those that don't know, Christine has joined me a couple of times in the past, and I've shared this story, but real quick, for those that may not have heard this, my husband got a kick out of when we were first partnered up in a group, a few years ago, and he was like, are you serious?

[00:03:50] Like you got paired up with a procrastination coach and for my audience. I've done a lot of diving inward. And one of the things that I have been mindful of is being transparent about my journey. And although I have a background in IT and Marketing, I have a very diverse background. In addition to that, but also with the numerous clients I've been fortunate to work with for 20 years now and bringing that all to the table, the person I am today, this isn't where I started and that's one of the things I like to share is everyone is a work in progress and as I've been talking about in recent episodes and recent content is about, we're coming to the end of a year and the start of a new year. And I think this is such a wonderful time. It can be hectic with holidays, but such a wonderful time to pause and reflect. But also the excitement of a new year coming and for those out there who may struggle with procrastination or road bumps along the way, I thought, what a great time when I reached out to Christine to say, hey, would you come on?

[00:05:14] And let's talk a little bit about this. And she told me right before we started, she is ready for me to fire the questions away. And little does she know that I've prepared a list. The best part about this is you can come back and listen to it. You don't have to take notes, but I promise you, she is going to drop some gold nuggets and other things throughout this session. So are you ready? 

[00:05:39] I am ready. Oh I hope the, audiences too. I'm sure they are.

[00:05:42] Yes. One of the things, as I've said, I've been transparent. I think a lot of times people say to me, Oh my gosh, you're so good on being a camera. Like you just love it. It's just, it comes so natural to you. And little do they know that I dealt with a lot of a fear of a perception that you work in marketing and you do this and you do that and what I'm going to put out, so that fear of failure and perfectionism. So my first question is, would you share your insights on the psychological roots of procrastination?

[00:06:22] Sure. I don't know if they're the psychological roots, but they are what I have seen in myself and in my clients.

[00:06:31] I used to say that all procrastination is connected to some sort of fear. And I do believe that's still holds. And that can be quite apparent to most people who have engaged in some sort of somewhat intense. Level of procrastination, but over the years, I've realized that it actually goes deeper than our fears because we can develop fears over anything.

[00:06:59] I could develop a fear over leaving my house or of dogs or of sounding funny or of saying the wrong thing. Right? There's so many different fears. There are millions of them, but what seems to be the layer. Deep inside of us. That might be the real root of procrastination is self doubt. It's really any time or any space in our heart, in our soul, in our sense of what's going on, where we do not feel sure about our worth or about our talent or about our potential that that gap leaves a really great space for procrastination to come in, because when we doubt ourselves, we end up feeling unstable. It's just a natural piece of self doubt. Doubt makes us feel like we don't know enough, that we don't have enough time, that the time we have is great, but we're not great. So we can't do the thing in time.

[00:08:04] It's self doubt can also come in so many different forms, but I feel, Like it's the thing that we can't really see on the surface, but it's really acting upon us really powerfully. And it's causing us to stay still. It's causing us to think that we don't have what it takes to finish the project. It makes us think that everyone else is going to find out about our insufficiency and it is destabilizing, like I said, a couple of minutes ago, and I really feel that we've all got our stories of feeling real self doubt. Sometimes. Many of us are feeling self doubt on a daily basis, even, but I do want you to know that, though, we might share the pattern of. Being in self doubt, oftentimes that there's so many different ways where we can correct that, that we can boost our self esteem where we can boost our preparedness for tackling deep challenges, intense challenges, things that we've never even anticipated before.

[00:09:10] And that's the really great news. And so I have tried in my own life, and I've tried to encourage those. Who am I work with and those whom I love in my life to really always be focused on how you can win rather than what we can lose. Because I think when you have your attention focused on what's going to be exposed or lost or failed, that you're already heading in the wrong direction and you're already making things much more complicated than they need to be.

[00:09:42] And when you have your attention focused on your goals and on your competence and on the things that you want to create, you're already winning because you're already feeling elevated. You're already feeling elated. You're already feeling like you're winning even before you get to the destination. 

[00:10:00] Oh my goodness. There's a lot that you just shared right there. We could call it and be like, okay. There you go, but in all honesty, what I was sharing before I ask you that question is this comes up with a lot of people I work with because of the direction, the shift that has happened with digital marketing and a lot of people struggle to talk about themselves to talk about their business.

[00:10:28] And then when you mentioned being on camera and you have helped me through so much directly and indirectly, and a lot of that, you made me more aware that I was procrastinating. I wasn't shouting from the rooftops about myself or our business. I did that all day long for clients, and like to say that we do a good job.

[00:10:54] We've been very fortunate for doing that with clients. That always came first. Ours always kept getting pushed. Well, no, we're too busy. Oh, but in all honesty. It was fear. It was fear. And as long as there was a reason that I could share, with my partner in life, as well as in business and my team, I almost could buy a little bit more time, like, we want to talk about it.

[00:11:21] Oh, but we need to take care of this first. And, that brings me to my next question, because I think a lot of times listening to your podcast, being around you, absorbing what you're talking to other people about has a lot to do with mindset. So, my question would be what mind shifts do you recommend for someone who may struggle with procrastination, where could they even start with mindset?

[00:11:51] What a great question and such an important one. And I would say what you just so openly shared about your own history of hiding your talents from the world, is a mindset. exercise example where you just decided to change your old habits. And when we decide to change our pre existing well worn habits, we automatically go through a mindset shift because you're automatically entertaining what could be different.

[00:12:26] How could I be different? How could people see me differently? How might I sound differently? Everything changes when you decide you're capable of change. It's when we decide that we need to stay frozen or we need to keep towing the status quo that our mindset really gets stuck because we're just running the same pattern over and over again.

[00:12:50] I'm not a football player, but I'm thinking like, I'm sounding like a football player. You don't want to keep running the same pattern over again, because you're actually much more talented than that. You're much more creative than that. And your clients are as well, they need different things from you. So if you're going to always be in the background, not really saying your full piece and not really teaching at your full power, where are we all going to go?

[00:13:14] We're all going to be held back because your mindset is in some ways, not fully expressed that you're not fully believing in yourself. And when you don't fully believe in yourself, other people around you are also shortchanged. And I don't mean to sound that dramatic, but because we all have mindset work to do, I think so know that if you feel like you're behind or that you haven't achieved what you think you should have at this point in your life, please know that you are not alone and that entrepreneurs really struggle with this, that I would say not just entrepreneurs, of course, because anyone who has a goal that has not yet been met, it likely has some sort of regret or remorse or anxiety about what hasn't been done, but the whole. My whole message about feeling that way is that that's human.

[00:14:12] That's not a character flaw. That's not a death sentence to your project. And that all you have in front of you is your potential to explore. So instead of tanking everything with negativity and with a feeling like I've blown it already, even though you haven't barely started. Instead of that, let's really get revved up about things.

[00:14:38] Even if it's just in terms of having a positive mindset, you don't have to be running marathons or races. You can just decide. I want this to happen. I'm going to make sure this happens and I'm going to make sure to take care of myself in the process. That's a huge mindset shift. Instead of tormenting yourself and hiding yourself, you're going to say to yourself, I'm going to shine as bright as I can while I have the opportunity to shine.

[00:15:05] And while people are actually looking for me, I'm going to take advantage of every opportunity I can get my hands on. And Kristina, you've been a wonderful role model to me as someone who has really stepped into that. Joy of running a business where you can generate opportunities. You can bring opportunities to your clients.

[00:15:27] You can enjoy deciding what projects you want to take and which ones are not right for you right now. And it's all about personal and professional expansion. There should be nothing holding any of us back from a natural fun expansion. And I think that's why you and I both are entrepreneurs, because we have these kinds of messages to share with people who are just a couple steps behind where we are right now.

[00:15:56] Such great information, and one of the things that you made me think about in this is, it wasn't my team telling me this, it, it was myself, it was how I was talking to myself, is that. Wasn't doing me justice, was not serving me for the future ahead. And, when they say that things, when you move in that direction, that things just start to click.

[00:16:28] I always felt like, yeah, right. Like, yeah, that sounds great. But honestly. It's those slow steps in the right direction, shifting just those small changes that you mentioned can make a huge difference. And that's one of the things that I want to ask you about is how can we maybe change the way we talk to ourselves because doesn't that influence our tendencies?

[00:16:58] A hundred percent, you hit on probably the most important tool that we have control over that affects our mindset and our outcomes. And that is how we speak to ourselves. That is language. That is how we use words and whether it's the spoken word or our internal dialogue, both those systems need to be clean of negativity and they need to be clean of negativity. I think that's a really important point. We need to get rid of things like this is too hard. I should be doing this, words of judgment, words of limitation, words of constraint, words of inability, because even if you feel like this is so hard, this is the hardest thing that has ever happened to me.

[00:17:44] I don't want you to be saying that to yourself because I want you to get through to the end point that you want to get yourself to and. It's just the principle of coaching in general, all of us know what it's like to be coached because we've all, most of us have parents and teachers and adults in our lives.

[00:18:04] When we were children who were coaching us along and the way we were coached was through example, but also through language and really hopefully for all of us, those coaches in our lives were people who were kind, people who knew how to motivate us without punishing us and some of us, probably many of us did have punishing or negatively reinforcing role models and that's okay.

[00:18:36] That's bygones. And that's the people. There's so many people who don't know how to praise and don't know how to help people along with kindness. But that doesn't mean you can't teach yourself. That doesn't mean you can't change those patterns around starting today, starting by listening to this very conversation.

[00:18:55] It really can happen and it will be life changing. It will be productivity changing and it will really amplify your experience of being alive. 

[00:19:05] I pause because I think that is so powerful what you just said you can start now it doesn't have to be this big to do. You can just start now. And if I can ask you one more question?

[00:19:20] Sure. As I mentioned, we're kind of at that time period where we're. You know, wrapping up a year and into a new year where it seems like we're all gung ho to rush to get things done, or we're excited to plan these goals out and we're going to accomplish this, this, and this, and then slowly, that starts to fade any recommendations or any closing remarks in regards to that.

[00:19:50] As I feel like sometimes I also go through that, you want to keep the momentum going, but we know that pesky procrastination can slowly creep in. Anything that you feel that you want to share on that? 

[00:20:08] I think it's that same thing that I mentioned probably a couple of minutes ago, which is that, do you want to be focusing on the, let's just take a metaphor of laundry, do you want to focus on the humongous pile of dirty clothes that should be washed, but haven't yet made it to the washing machine?

[00:20:27] Or do you want to focus on you dressed in that beautiful outfit of clothes that really fit you and are clean, right? And it's a matter of where you're focusing your attention right now. And it's okay to have unfinished stuff and it's okay to have dirty laundry and it's okay not to be quite yet ready for that clean beautiful outfit ready for a conference, but where would you like to lean? And I would just encourage you to lean in the direction of the clean, beautiful outfit that you're ready to rock, because that's how you continue your momentum is when you keep saying, you know what? I'm not giving up. There is no option of giving up.

[00:21:12] There's no use in giving up because I know. I want to be at that conference, rocking that outfit, learning so much and enjoying myself and being my full self. 

[00:21:23] So well said. I feel like you covered a lot of basis for the 1st steps or whether this is something you've struggled with in the past and you need some reassurance, to walk through this again.

[00:21:37] I feel like you've covered so much and given my listeners and viewers, something to really take in. I appreciate you spending time with me, not only having fun, but also in this setting. And I would love for you to share with people how they can connect with you and learn more about you. 

[00:22:00] Oh, thanks so much. It's been a pleasure, front to back, always hanging out with you and getting to talk about the topics that we love together. It's been totally fun and I would love to stay in touch with any listeners that really connected with what I've been saying and anyone who wants to go a little bit deeper with their own expansion with their own battle with procrastination so that they can win the battle and really decide, you know what, it's time for me to really straighten things out so that I can keep winning in my life. So I'm procrastination coach all over social media. And my website is called Procrastination Coach. I have a podcast called Make Time For Success. Make sure to tune into that conversation I had there with Kristina and I could refer your listeners to a free download that is probably my oldest download that I have.

[00:22:58] It's called the free resource library. It's a free download that consists of 12 different templates and tools that you can use to kind of get your thoughts together, to get a little bit more organized, to get a little bit more of a an arsenal against your procrastination and you can get that by going to procrastinationcoach. com/ library. 

[00:23:22] Thank you so much. That's incredible. 

[00:23:24] Ah, my pleasure. It's a fun, it's a fun pack of tools. 

[00:23:28] Yes. Christine has an amazing podcast and she has a wealth of knowledge and experience in this arena and please follow her on social media, tune into the podcast or for more information about her, head over to her website, procrastinationcoach. com. Thank you so much, Christine. I really appreciate it. 

[00:23:49] Oh, thanks so much. Hugs to you. 

[00:23:51] Thank you for joining us today on Simplified Solutions. If you found value in this episode and want to dive deeper into topics like this, here's how you can stay connected. Join our vibrant Facebook group, Simplified Solutions with Kristina Stubblefield. To connect with fellow entrepreneurs and continue the conversation for deeper dives into our topics and more exclusive content, visit our YouTube channel.

[00:24:16] Just search Kristina Stubblefield to find us. And if you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback fuels our mission to simplify success. We appreciate you being part of our community. Until next time, remember, there are always simplified solutions for your business.